“I get very, very angry when people misinterpret the word ‘complicit’ for ‘responsible.’ And it’s not because I want to let people off the hook but quite the opposite. I want people to understand that they’ve been an accomplice. When we get into our mindset that says, ‘I am responsible for all the shit in my life,’ we’re actually walking away from doing the hard work.”
— Jerry Colonna
Here is my brand-new conversation with Jerry Colonna, CEO and co-founder of Reboot.io, an executive coaching and leadership development firm dedicated to the notion that better humans make better leaders. He is the author of Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up and Reunion: Leadership and the Longing to Belong.
Please enjoy!
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#767: Tim and Uncle Jerry Tackle Life, Big Questions, Business, Parenting, and Disco Duck
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What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.
Want to hear the last time Jerry Colonna was on the show? Listen to our conversation in which we discussed Jerry’s annual two-month sabbatical, how and why even someone on a limited budget can and should make time for their own version of such a sabbatical, successful versus unsuccessful sabbaticals, coping with crises off the grid, hot and cold boredom, and much more.
SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE
- Connect with Jerry Colonna:
Reboot.io | Twitter | Instagram | Threads
- Reunion: Leadership and the Longing to Belong by Jerry Colonna | Amazon
- Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up by Jerry Colonna | Amazon
- Jerry Colonna — How to Reboot Yourself and Feel Unrushed in the New Year | The Tim Ferriss Show #554
- Jerry Colonna — The Coach with the Spider Tattoo | The Tim Ferriss Show #373
- The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Tim Ferriss | Amazon
- Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin | Amazon
- Breathe Right Strips | Amazon
- Some Practical Thoughts on Suicide | Tim Ferriss
- This Column Will Change Your Life: Just Sit Down and Think | The Guardian
- 80/20 Rule (Pareto Principle) | Investopedia
- How to Cage the Monkey Mind | The Tim Ferriss Show #175
- Cartesian Dualism | Philosophy Tube
- Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker J. Palmer | Amazon
- Sacred Knowledge: Psychedelics and Religious Experiences by William Richards | Amazon
- “The Dose Makes the Poison.” | Chemical Safety Facts
- Celebrating Print and Its Impact on the World | National Print Museum Dublin
- The Proclamation of the Irish Republic | National Museum of Ireland
- My Healing Journey After Childhood Abuse (Includes Extensive Resource List) | The Tim Ferriss Show #464
- Marc Andreessen — Lessons, Predictions, and Recommendations from an Icon | The Tim Ferriss Show #163
- Did Carl Jung Say “I Am Not What Has Happened to Me, I Am What I Choose to Become”? If So, Where? | Quora
- “Greed Is Good” (Clip) | Wall Street
- Stress in America 2023: A Nation Recovering from Collective Trauma | APA
- Israel–Hamas War | Wikipedia
- Maria Popova on Writing, Workflow, and Workarounds | The Tim Ferriss Show #39
- Sharon Salzberg, World-Renowned Meditation Teacher | The Tim Ferriss Show #277
- The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward by Daniel H. Pink | Amazon
- Our Moral Compass: Understanding Guilt, Remorse, and Atonement | This Jungian Life
- Legacy: A Powerful Rite of Passage | Social Work Today
- Uncovering Secrets of the Sphinx | Smithsonian Magazine
- World Heritage Site | Robben Island Museum
- What is the Hoffman Process? | Hoffman Institute Foundation
- Timothy Ferriss | The DO Lectures
- Liam Dutton Nails Pronouncing Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch | Channel 4 News
- This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin | The Poetry Foundation
- A Star Is Born (1937) | Prime Video
- When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron | Amazon
- Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience by Sharon Salzberg | Amazon
- The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety by Alan Watts | Amazon
- Call It Sleep: A Novel by Henry Roth | Amazon
- 18 Miles of Books | Strand Book Store
- The Art of ‘Call It Sleep’ | The New York Review of Books
- Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazantzakis | Amazon
- Volumes Archive | Library of America
- Collected Essays by James Baldwin (Library of America) | Amazon
- Port William Novels & Stories by Wendell Berry (Library of America) | Amazon
- The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence by Gavin de Becker | Amazon
- Disco Duck by Rick Dees and His Cast of Idiots (Live Midnight Special) | YouTube
SHOW NOTES
- [08:40] “How have I been complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?” and its misinterpretations.
- [21:55] Recharging off the grid on sabbatical.
- [24:41] Is a tired dog a happy dog?
- [29:21] What are you hearing that’s not being said?
- [33:14] Closing transgenerational, transpersonal, and intergenerational wounds.
- [44:05] Focusing on the future when the past keeps pulling us back.
- [52:18] Changes in challenges Reboot’s clients have faced over the past decade.
- [55:34] Guilt vs. remorse and how to move from one to the other.
- [1:01:40] Interpretations of legacy.
- [1:13:17] Jerry’s parenting experience and advice.
- [1:19:02] My thoughts on having children and grandchildren.
- [1:24:54] “This Be the Verse” by Philip Larkin.
- [1:26:08] Book recommendations and their impact on Jerry and his children.
- [1:28:46] Novel truths.
- [1:32:40] The importance of laughter and human connection in difficult times.
- [1:35:45] Parting thoughts.
MORE JERRY COLONNA QUOTES FROM THE INTERVIEW
“I get very, very angry when people misinterpret the word ‘complicit’ for ‘responsible.’ And it’s not because I want to let people off the hook but quite the opposite. I want people to understand that they’ve been an accomplice. When we get into our mindset that says, ‘I am responsible for all the shit in my life,’ we’re actually walking away from doing the hard work.”
— Jerry Colonna
“So many people that I encounter, myself included, spend our childhood pendulating between grandiosity and a sense of worthlessness. ‘I’m either shit or I am the best.’”
— Jerry Colonna
“Good people do bad things all the time. Good people who do bad things who don’t learn are less evolved, less mature, than good people who do bad things who then learn through regret and remorse, but they remain good people.”
— Jerry Colonna
“The best of all the accomplishments I’ve ever done has been becoming the father that I needed as a child, without a doubt.”
— Jerry Colonna
“My capacity to bullshit myself continues unabated. And no matter how progressive I think I am and evolved I think I am, my ability to be deluded by my own mind knows no end.”
— Jerry Colonna
“It’s kind of a fucked up world we’re in right now. But to understand that there’s a human connection that can be gotten even in the midst of all this, I think, is incredibly important right now.”
— Jerry Colonna
“I think that as parents, we can become so afraid of fucking it up and hurting them, that we get wrapped around our own anxiety, our own narcissism. And then we lose the connection, which is the thing that our children want more than anything else.”
— Jerry Colonna
“When you lean into the questions that you need answered in your own life, you end up positively impacting other people.”
— Jerry Colonna
“Can you apologize to your children? Oh, my God, what a powerful tool that is.”
— Jerry Colonna
PEOPLE MENTIONED
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