[00:03:12] Ramit: How long have you two been together?
[00:03:15] Carrie: Almost eight years.
[00:03:16] Ramit: Eight years. Okay. Carrie, when you got together with Taylor, were you already pretty savvy with money?
[00:03:25] Carrie: Yes. Maybe not great at doing all the things, but I knew what I should be doing and was doing some of those things, for sure.
[00:03:33] Ramit: Was it concerning to you at all that Taylor was not at the same level of financial savviness?
[00:03:39] Carrie: Once I realized it, it took a while. Yeah.
[00:03:44] Ramit: How long?
[00:03:46] Carrie: Probably six months of dating.
[00:03:48] Ramit: So Carrie, we’re here to talk about the role of money in your relationship with you and Taylor. And I was struck by the application that you wrote. Uh, has Taylor seen that application?
[00:04:02] Carrie: He’s not.
[00:04:03] Taylor: Oh, no.
[00:04:03] Ramit: Okay. Uh, would you mind if I read some of it out loud here?
[00:04:08] Carrie: Sure.
[00:04:09] Ramit: Okay. Taylor, the reason that I was struck by this was the severity and seriousness of the words that Carrie wrote. “I’m a 33-year-old woman who has been in an eight-year long relationship with my partner, and we still can’t figure out how to talk about money together, and I’m at my wits end. I have been ready to get married for the last three or so years, and now that he makes more, he’s starting to express his desire to take that step too.
[00:04:41] “However, in the back of my head, I feel hesitant to say yes because I am so frustrated with his lack of care or desire to talk about financial concerns, plans, etc. I’M SO TIRED OF VENMO REQUESTS AND FIGURING OUT WHO PAYS FOR WHAT.” I’d like to pause there. Carrie, you remember writing that?
[00:05:10] Carrie: Mm-hmm. The wits end part was I feel like I’ve tried a lot of different avenues to make it exciting, or to ask a question, or to draw him in, and he gets really excited about the dream planning. We love to talk about the dreams, and what could it be? But then when I start delving into the details, it’s a complete shutdown and block.
[00:05:38] Ramit: Thank you. Taylor, hearing what Carrie wrote, how do you receive that?
[00:05:50] Taylor: Me being me, uh, sucks. I don’t want to say, though, that it hurts because it doesn’t. I don’t care. She’s the one that’s feeling this way, so it just sucks. Yeah. It just sucks to hear. Because I should be better and should, I don’t want to say be more of a man in this situation, but be, um, just more communicative and a better partner in general. Uh, I don’t care about what I’m feeling. I care about what she’s feeling.
[00:06:37] Ramit: But I care what you’re feeling. So what are you feeling right now?
[00:06:45] Taylor: Oh, man. Uh, probably the one emotion I hate feeling.
[00:06:53] Ramit: Tell me.
[00:06:54] Taylor: Uh, disappointment.
[00:06:55] Ramit: At who.
[00:06:57] Taylor: Myself.